What next?

The important thing, Ronna tells me, is to breathe and remain calm. It's not an insurmountable workload if I stay ahead of it, assign stories early, and stay organized.

This is all sound advice. But why am I still shaking and swallowing back tears of dread? It's not the work. I mean, it is. They are expecting me and Janet to each handle the workload of three editors, plus they want us to keep writing. That's too much work, but if I have to, I'll find a way to do it. Quality just won't be as high, but that's the bed the paper's managers made for themselves. So fuck 'em.

What I really worry about is this. This right here. My REAL work. How am I supposed to keep writing my plays and how am I supposed to survive the rehearsal processes for UnE and OP4P when my day job is becoming an ever-expanding, energy-sucking parasite? I have a rule to never bring work from the paper home on the weekends or at night unless I absolutely have to with no alternative. So, I don't. And I can't start. And I won't start. My life outside of the paper has to remain sacred. I have to carve out time for the theater, or I'm not actually me anymore. Am I?

It is better to be overworked and under appreciated than to be downsized. I know that. But what a shame that my plays and all the goodness associated with these projects is getting tarnished by this horrible stress and fear. So much for 2009 being my year.

Maybe I should write a sequel to UnE about The Company falling on hard financial timesand down-sizing all the remaining characters because it blew too much of its reserve savings on the ethics project. Art imitates life again.

UnE rehearsal: is that your dad?

Chekhov stood in for Nora's father last night as we tried not to ruin GLTF's touring show rehearsal space last night. No Nate (he's auditioning for grad schools) so we only did scenes without Reed - scenes 4, 5 and 7.

Scene 4 is where you start to see both Tracey and Barry's wheels turning as to what they will ultimately do to attempt to save their jobs. Kristy's back from bronchitis leave, and as they went over the scene, she was developing a good faux-friendly gossip vibe with Nora. I also enjoyed this little moment pictured, in which Tracey and Zach start getting in each other's faces while poor, unsuspecting Nora is trying to work. As Nora, Laurel suffers so much abuse and betrayal in this play. When Brian exited this scene and delivered Zach's parting line with a bit more dickishness toward her than he intended, she looked so sad. (Even though the rest of us laughed.) It's just Laurel's lot to end up sad and alone in every one of my plays she does.

Scene 5 is my favorite in the show: Nora and Barry's heart-to-heart about work vs. one's love life. It's pivotal because it's where Nora starts to let her guard down and express anti-Company angst and Barry starts to really formulate his plan. Allen and Laurel are quite funny in this scene, particularly when discussing chiseled abs and how they're not the same age. Lisa discussed the addition of props - particularly edible ones - to this scene. I wonder how much Bundt cake we'll all have consumed when this is over.

Scene 7: Nora and Tracey's confrontation followed by Zach and Nora's sad moment. (I don't want to give too much away.) I really like where this is going. Kristy is finding the right sense of matter-of-factness. Tracey is not being a bitch in her mind, she's being practical. And Brian is tapping into the right kind of earnest conflicted attitude. He's not being a jerk here, he's legitimately confused and trying to do what's best. That countered with Laurel's anger and hurt, and I think it's working. At least, I hope it's working. What do I know? I'm just a writer.

Best moment of the night: Laurel going full-on after Kristy in scene 7, forcing Brian to really, really mean his line "Calm down!" as he tried to keep them apart and Laurel angrily batted his script out of his hand.

David, yay! Benjamin, boo!

I made it out to Big[BOX] this weekend to see the two solo performances: Jeff Grover's "Claus for a Moment" and David Hansen's "And Then You Die." I really enjoyed them both for very different reasons.

I've worked with David a bunch of times and seen his work as an audience member even more frequently, so I was mostly there to support him. (Plus, he performed our wedding, so ...) His piece was very polished and high energy with a great flow to it.  I've never really thought about writing a solo performance piece. I guess if something occurred in my life that I felt like I could only express through using my actual self as a character, I might try it. But it's a very daunting prospect to me, which just makes me respect David's work even more.

&TYD was about David's training to run and eventual completion of the NYC marathon. He intercuts scenes of the big race with scenes from his life (childhood-the present) that somehow illuminate why he runs or moments when running was important to him. To me, the challenge is in selecting only the "flashbacks" that matter and splicing them in with the "present" in a way that flows and makes sense. As a writer it strikes me as extremely challenging to map out a story line and then edit down your life in the same way you would a fictional piece. And I applaud David for really honing his down from earlier bits I heard and finding a good, brisk flow.

But just as my writer self was all happy about seeing good plays, the SAG Awards had to go and piss me off as much as the Globes and Oscar noms. I mean, I admit I'm a big geek (OP4P as a prime example, no pun intended), but I know what makes good cinema. The ongoing shaft of The Dark Knight is making me so mad. Especially because I loathed Benjamin Button with the kind of  fiery vengeance only a writer can feel for a bad movie. And this pile of dog turd got nominated for best screenplay and best film, people. What am I not getting here?

Reasons I despise Ben Butt:

1. The aging backwards concept has almost no bearing on the story. No one is surprised, questioning or afraid of this phenomenon throughout the film. Butt never struggles with it internally.

2. Brad Pitt phones his performance in ... but he got nominated!

3. It's long and boring and not at all moving.

4. Butt meets several "colorful" minor supporting characters throughout his life a la Forrest Gump. But none of them change him or his life at all. He learns no lesson from any of them, and remains plain, dull and even-keeled no matter what happens to them or how they treat him.

5. The prologue has not one shred of connection to the core story. If Butt had been the blind clockmaker's son and the backwards clock had been the thing that created his aging issue, now that would have been a way to do it.

6. In the end, there was nothing heroic about Butt. He just floated blandly through life and ended up nothing more than a deadbeat dad who missed his mom's funeral. Who the hell cares!

Eric Roth, you should apologize to the people who actually did good work in the WGA this year for fooling critics and Academy voters so utterly with your crap.

UnE rehearsal: in absentia

So, Lisa emailed me a glowing report about the rehearsal I missed on Wednesday. She, Laurel and Brian worked the opening scene that establishes Zach and Nora's couplehood, and then they went over all of the other scenes they have together to track the arc of their relationship. Lisa says Laurel and Brian have found a cute dynamic, and the opening flirty scene sounds like it's going to be charming. Yay!

In her email, Lisa described the process and/or the actors as "great," "nice" and "fabulous." (All good words for a somewhat nervous playwright and somewhat frustrated Margi to hear. It lifted me temporarily out of my stomach-twisted-in-knots irritable mood yesterday.) And a special gold star to Brian for already being off-book for scene 1!

If anyone out there reading this can't wait 4 weeks for Unethical to open, you should go down to CPT this weekend and see David Hansen's solo performance piece "...And Then You Die." Matt and I will be there Saturday. Read all about it here.

Margi's thoughts on acting

Now, I know I'm far, far, far from the best actress to ever tread the boards, and I certainly don't have any Boleslavsky, Hagen or Chekhov level of insight into the craft. But I just wanted to give the young actors of the world a few words of advice:

1. Your voice does not need to go up at the end of every sentence to prove you are inflecting and emoting. Not every line of dialogue is a question, my children.

2. Shaking/gyrating your head as you speak or squinting does not necessarily indicate emotional connection with or concern for the other character in your scene. Try to indicate concern ... by actually feeling concern!

3. Ladies, try not to always thrust your hips out to either side while standing on stage. I know, I'm guilty of doing this too, especially with book in hand before a character has really been developed. But not every character you read is - uh muh gaw - the type to stand like she's at a bar in her fabulously tight jeans and sexy boots.

4. Gentlemen, if you're gay and you're reading for a straight role, for god's sake, butch it up! If you're straight and reading for a gay role, play it exactly as you would any other part.

5. Have energy, and remember that, most likely, every character you play actually has a personality.

Thank you. And good luck in your careers.

OP4P auditions: "I've got stuff."

First round of Prime auditions were last night. I won't reveal too much about who was there or what I thought of them (because a. it's work product, b. it could potentially be mean, and c. it's Jenna's decision who we cast, not mine), but I will say this: it was very different than casting the CPT reading in '07.

When we auditioned for the reading, everyone was either 100% perfect for the show or 100% wrong for the show. There was nobody of whom I felt unsure. Last night, nearly everyone who read had me thinking maybe yes, maybe no, maybe this part, maybe that part. After tonight's auditions, we'll see what Jenna thinks. I'm guessing she'll need callbacks, because the kicker will be putting these potentials together in groups of 6 and figuring out who's the right ensemble.

Tonight (in addition to missing Idol, Top Chef and the Lost premiere), I will be missing Unethical rehearsal to be at Prime auditions, and beginning in Feb., the two schedules will start overlapping a lot. Of course, Unethical has priority right now, I'm only going to miss it for major Prime things like auditions, callbacks, first read-through. I'll start hanging around Prime full time when Unethical closes.

What I'm missing tonight at UnE is what I affectionately like to call a "breath mint rehearsal," or the first time two actors really work on a scene involving kissing or physical intimacy. Having been involved in breath mint rehearsals as both a director and actor, I can say it's probably for the best that my nosy playwright self is not there tonight. The less people, the better. Of course, all they have to do is "smoochy smoochy" a little, as Barry would say. Maybe in my next play, I'll write something more involved, creative and unusual requiring a breath mint rehearsal ...

UnE rehearsal: the merits of holding ourselves to a higher ethical standard

Last night's rehearsal was sans Kristy, who's sick. So, I read her part.

We read over and talked through scenes 2 & 3 because they're the longest and have the most information in them. Scene 2 is actually where the ethics policy is revealed to the employees and explained. The fascinating thing for me was how different the scene read sitting on couches in my living room versus standing it up and actually sitting around a conference table (my dining room). Entering the scene, relating to each other in the moment, with a realistic amount of physical proximity or distance between the different people you're dealing with ... it was a faster, sharper, much more natural scene. I always worry about scene 2 because there's so much explanation and corporate speak in it. But it's working.

My favorite part of the evening was the first exercise, in which Lisa had the cast write their characters' resumes. It was fun for me to hear what they came up with, almost like someone writing fan fiction based on my work (or something geeky like that). I learned that Nora considers Excel a hobby as well as a special skill. Reed (who is the fourth Reed in his family's line) was voted employee of the year at his old job for several years in a row. Zach worked his way up from the mail room, and Barry apparently worked at a lot of hotels (and can say the alphabet backwards).

In other news, if you attend the Bang and Clatter show opening this weekend, you should know that nowhere in the stage directions does it ever call for Allen's character to "skedaddle."

Big grin

Today my husband told me he was proud of me and bragging to everyone about my plays being produced. That makes me feel so happy!

UnE rehearsal: (Beat.)

Last night's rehearsal with Laurel and Brian was canceled due to snow, hellish traffic, and the general post-apocalyptic horror of downtown Cleveland in January. Sigh. Sniff. Sniff.

So, I have nothing to report. 

(Crickets ... crickets ... tumbleweed ...)

Day One: "You're smart!"

Last night was the first official "Unethical" rehearsal, and I'm so happy with how it went. I don't think it's arrogant to say that Lisa and I are true geniuses when it comes to casting. Seriously, Team ESP (the cast) rocks.

Allen (who plays Barry the IT guy) couldn't be there because he's teching another show, so I read his lines. Let's just say, he makes a better Barry than me.

We began with me and Lisa talking about the process of putting together a semi-nomadic show like this. We belong to CPT in a way, but we're on our own as far as finding rehearsal space until our tech week, so it looks like we're going to be squatting in any vacant room we can find large enough to hold us. Monday's rehearsal will be in my living room. Cotton is already looking forward to jumping on, snuggling with and playing fetch with the cast. She has no idea she's going to be banished to the upstairs with her daddy.

Team ESP has been assembled from a variety of places. Laurel (Nora from accounting) and Allen both read their parts in earlier drafts of the script when I was still developing it. It started over a year ago at the Dark Room play reading group, and then I had a private reading with friends and trusted colleagues at my house this past October. So, picking them was a no-brainer for the two of us. 

Kristy Lee (Tracey from marketing) and Nathan (Reed the boss) are Great Lakes Theater Festival actor-teachers who Lisa has worked with extensively. She thought of both them immediately, and as I'd never met either one, I trusted her instinct. Brian (Zach from sales) and I did a show together a few years ago, and he used to be Lisa's student when he was in high school. Blog followers will remember that he was the hardest to cast simply because I couldn't figure out what kind of actor I wanted for Zach. Then, in one of those fabulous theater coincidences, I had three people suggest him to me in the course of a day, and then I unexpectedly saw him the next night and realized, "Yeah, that's the guy."

So, even with all of that, I still didn't know how this whole groovy gang would coalesce. When they read through the script together last night, it was clear that this was absolutely the right group. Brian is keying in to the important balance in Zach - making him the funny, personable guy you want to hang around with, but recognizing the tone shift when he gets into his pouty moods and, eventually, the dissolution of his relationship with Nora. Kristy Lee totally understood Tracey's Hills-generation cadences and is honing in on the self-serving coldness that needs to be there. And Nathan ... oh, my. Reed was so much funnier last night than he'd even been in my head. Making him a little puppy dog underneath his threatening boss exterior is a really good instinct, and it's going to make audiences feel for Reed a little.

Very cool! Can't wait for the next rehearsal of Wednesday.

And so it begins...

We are officially underway on all fronts.

Big[BOX] series opens tonight at CPT: the first of seven weekends of new original works, and I am week seven. Rehearsals for "Unethical" begin Monday.

And I just got asked to give an interview on "Unethical"... to my own paper. Which is so weird. Usually I make the theater-related assignments. But this time, my editor assigned our reviewer, Fran, to interview me. Fran joked that it will be like meeting each other for the first time. She requested a copy of the script and my bio so she could be prepared. It's so weird to be on this side of the process. Part of me feels like it's kind of insider-y and possibly inappropriate (dare I say, unethical?). But then I think, if I received a story pitch from a playwright just like me who was writing this play for this series, I'd think it was story-worthy and assign it to someone. I guess, what's the point of working at a newspaper if you can't occasionally use it to promote yourself and your friends?

Also - "Optimus Prime for President" will be auditioning Jan. 20 and Jan. 21 from 7-9:30 with rehearsals starting in February. So in a few weeks, I'll have two plays cast and in rehearsal at the same time. Craziness.

And I received a request to submit another piece to another showcase that would take place this summer. (No details until I know for sure it's something that I'm really going to do. So, mind your own business!) I dusted off an old children's play I wrote several years ago called "Quench." (It's so old, it's on a PC disc in Word, before I became eternally devoted to Macs and Final Draft.) It was meant to be a short play, so it feels rushed to squeeze it into the 10-minute time frame, but it's not bad. So, I'm trying to fix it up a little and expand it so it can breathe and unfold at a more natural pace. If it works, I finish it in time, and it gets accepted, I might actually pull off a playwriting hat trick this year. I wonder if I can finish "Danger Road" in time for Little Box in October/November ... that would make me tetra-fast and quadro-furious. Take that Sholiton and Coble! You aren't the only games in town anymore, suckers!

If you want to audition for Prime, contact Justin at 216-258-1318 or justin@fourthwallproductions.com. Auditions are cold readings at the Fourth Wall theater, 540 E. 105th St. in Cleveland.

Prime reference #4

In "Prime," the characters argue extensively about which cartoon characters would make the best president. The five friends - Steph, Kevin, Jeremy, Matt and Stuart - take this discussion very seriously. For Steph's sister Sierra, who is hanging out with the gang for the first time tonight, this is ridiculous. She's not a geek, and doesn't really know or care about the intricate details of Batman or X-Men mythology. The following is her attempt to join the conversation:

SIERRA

Hey, what about Papa Smurf?

Pause. The others all stare at SIERRA.

KEVIN

I give up. What about Papa Smurf?

SIERRA

What about him for president? He's a kindly leader type. He runs the entire Smurf village, and they all seem so content and ... and ...

STUART

Smurfy?

SIERRA

So, what? You think my idea is stupid?

STUART

Yes.

KEVIN

Papa frickin' Smurf? Are you high? In addition to being one of the lamest things ever drawn, he's a god damned communist, Sierra!

SIERRA

You are out of your mind.

STEPH

Actually, Sierra, Kevin is kind of right.

SIERRA

Whatever.

STEPH

Seriously! Smurfs were a communal society of equals. They all looked the same, dressed the same, lived in identical mushroom houses. There was no currency or property of higher barter value. Each Smurf had his assigned task – Greedy was the baker, Handy the carpenter, etcetera – and no one was given more accolades for fulfilling his duties than anyone else. They were communists. And Papa Smurf was Lenin.

Beat.

SIERRA

Shut up!